When people tell you something for so long, you start to believe it. Ray, you’re great. Ray, you’re amazing. Ray, you’re awesome.
I used to think that I could reach a point at which I could say that God transformed me, I eventually got my life in order, and I went out and lived the rest of my days in complete service to God. And I guess I felt that it was what God intended for everyone to eventually do.
But lately I’ve learned that it’s not that easy. Everyone needs time to grow in their faith. Everyone needs time to discover for themselves what they believe. I need time too; there are still days when I have to stop myself and think, “Is this really what I’m doing?” But I suppose it’s good that we try. It’s good that we admit we don’t have it together, that we still need to learn more in order to understand fully who God is and who God is calling us to be.
I’m not any better than anyone else. I’m just a little kid, trying to find out what I want to do. Sure, I guess I’m serving God along the way. But maybe life won’t completely settle itself down until the very day we meet God face to face.
I need encouragement just as much as anyone else. It’s funny how the people who encourage me the most are the ones who literally gave their lives up for God. Oh, Tico. Where are you right now? Are you up there watching over me? Are you rooting for me? I hope I’m doing this right. I hope you’re smiling down on me. I won’t let you down. Or at least, I’ll try not to.